Teachers, Parents – Help me PLEASE!!!

I am at my wits end with Luke and seriously need some help! This is one for the parents and teachers out there. Honestly, any and all advice will be appreciated!

Luke is an extremely intelligent young man. There are however three problems:

1. He is lazy. I suppose this can be expected of any boy, especially one of 10.

2. He can’t focus. His mind is forever wondering off into some magically weird and wonderful world filled with stories.

3. He is very sensitive.

None of these are necessarily characteristics which would sound alarm bells, but put them all together, add schooling in an overcrowded classroom and Houston, we have a problem.

I’ve just received my 4th Detention notice for the term. One more and he gets expelled. His transgressions:
Forgetting to write down homework
Forgetting to do homework
Forgetting to have notices signed or just losing them altogether
Talking in class

We sat on the weekend and studied for a test for 3 full hours. He knew everything by heart. His result 13 / 40!

My options are severely limited in the sense that I can not afford private schooling. Home schooling is not an option either as I have to work, no choice there. I have tried grounding him, taking away privileges like TV shows or bike rides or going to the beach. I have tried incentives like adding x amount to his allowance for each positive result and in turn deduct x amount for each negative result. I have begged and pleaded and cried. I have yelled and threatened and cried. I have been paying for tablets (Brain Child) for the past two months, which are supposed to improve concentration and behavior. I have done everything apart from physically hitting him or playing the emotional blackmail card – I don’t believe in either one of these (is that where I am going wrong?).

Someone suggested that I have him tested for ADHD, but I have no medical aid and can’t afford it.

Guys, seriously, if you could see me now, you would understand. I am in a heap on the bathroom floor, crying my eyes out.

What do I do?

The Green Eyed Monster

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Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship? 

What is jealousy?

jealousy

 

Jealousy is something which all of us experience at some point in our life.  Don’t deny it, everyone get’s jealous, even saints are tested.  The biggest form of jealousy I have ever felt was when I was around 7 or 8.  My parents divorced when I was only 5 and, through circumstance, my sister and I ended up living with my grandparents for a couple of years.  These were fundamental years for me and I will forever be grateful for the example they set for us.  There was just one thing that really got to me.

My cousins lived not to far from us and we attended the same school.  To me, they were a prime example of what family should be: dad working, mom at home cooking and baking, holidays away, new clothes the moment they outgrew the old ones, etc.  My sister and I received their hand-me-downs, which I was very grateful for.   I hated them for this.  I always felt somewhat inferior to them and it took me a long time to get over that.  I love my cousins to bit and their parents have always been there for me.  It was simply a matter of my own insecurities.

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The example I’ve given above is, to me at least, an “acceptable” form of jealousy.  Once the realization is made that you are not inferior to the other person, you can learn from it and grow past that.

What is unacceptable jealousy then?  It is that green-eyed-monster that festers inside your mind and heart.  It destroys you, bit by bit.  It destroys all the good in you and sucks the life right out of your soul, leaving you nothing but an empty shell.

Unfortunately, jealously have been the downfall of countless relationships.  People get hurt, I get that, but how you choose to make that work for you, is key to all future relationships.

I live on the principle that you can either learn from it or suffer by it for the rest of your life.  If you choose to let go and move on, you can grow and become a better person.  This makes you the winner.  If you choose to hold on to the pain, it will forever rule you and you will suffer.  That makes you a loser.  Face the reality: the person who hurt you is still the winner!  He / She still determine your happiness and ultimately the outcome of your life!

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You may meet the person of your dreams, but if you allow the monster to live, that relationship will fail.  That is a guarantee my friend.

No one can make you love them or trust them.  These emotions can not be forced upon you, ever.  You have to make the choice to feed the positive.

You have the choice whether you want to suffer or love!

What is trust?

trust

 

When Luke asked me to explain trust to him, I found the following to be most effective:

  • Trust is like an eraser, the more you abuse it, the smaller it gets; and
  • Faith and fear both requires us to believe in something we can not see.  Faith will uplift your spirit and leave you feeling better.  Fear will drag you down and suffocate you.

If you choose to believe in fear, if you choose to feed the monster, it will consume you.

No one said letting go will be easy.  That is why there are trained professionals to help you (and your partner) along the way.  Having these fears are not a weakness, but choosing not to do anything about it, now that is a weakness.  You are effectively choosing to live an inferior life and no one deserves that.

Use your common sense, have faith and love fully.

The Woolwich killing is not a religious one

My deepest sympathy and condolences the family, friends and colleagues of the soldier killed in Woolwich on 22 May 2013.

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The Woolwich killing is not a religious one

The Woolwich killing has become another in a long list of terror attacks this year alone.  This senseless attack of an unarmed soldier in Woolwich has nothing to do with race or religion.  In fact, this and all other terror attacks, are  so far removed from religion that it verges on an attack of the Islam religion itself.

I am first to admit that I know very little of Islam and cannot begin to go into detail about how far this is removed from their religious views.  I can, however, quote the Quran for you:

“Taking of one innocent life is like taking all of Mankind and the saving of one life is like saving all of Mankind” Quran5:33

No religion will ever condone the killing of innocent human beings.  Not one of them.

Why make it about religion?

Why then do we have lunatics, animals really, who kill in the name of religion?  They do nothing but create a further tear in the fabric of society.  Just look at Facebook or the twitter stream for #Woolwich today and you will see the disastrous effect this attack had.

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Already there have been street battles between the English Defense League (EDL) and police, as well as two separate revenge attacks of mosques by men who call themselves Christians.

I have long been wondering about “the thing” that is missing in people who commit acts like these.  There must be a serious psychological problem somewhere, something that makes them unable to determine between right and wrong.  In an attempt to try and understand how the brainwashing process works, I turned to Google.

I did not have to search far to find lengthy videos and text glorifying death in the name of Allah.  There must be something wrong with me, because it just left with a sense of “WTF?!?!?  Do you honestly expect me to fall for that?”.

Sorry Jihad and Al-Qaeda, I am lost to you.   You have not a single religious bone in your body.

Add to the brainwashing a disregard for the law, as is clear in the fact that they did not try to hide their faces or run from the scene, and you have a ticking time bomb.

What happens next?

How do we end the ever escalating religious war?  With information on terrorist groups and recipes for making bombs so freely available, it will be a continued uphill battle to try and put a stop to the violence.

With all the technology available to us, I can’t help but wonder why these websites cannot be shut down and removed.  I’m all for free speech, but when free speech openly encourages the slaughtering of human beings, does that not infringe on at least some laws?  All governments and religious organizations condemn these acts, so why not draw up a charter of agreement between them to try and slow down the flow of information?

An interfaith condemnation is required, a call on people to come forward and expose those who preach these views.

These were the words spoken by one of the attackers:

We swear by the Almighty Allah we will never stop fighting you until you leave us alone. We must fight them as they fight us, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… I apologize that women had to witness this today, but in our land our women have to see the same. You people will never be safe. Remove your government. They don’t care about you. Do you think David Cameron’s going to get caught in the street when we start busting our guns? Do you think the politicians are going to die? No, it’s going to be the average guy, like you.

In a sense he is right, the politicians don’t care.  They will speak great words and plan and sit down for strategy sessions, but what will they actually accomplish?  The answer lies with the average guy, me and you, to stop the violence.

Revenge is not the answer.  The acts that we need to commit are to teach acceptance of different races and religions to our kids.  By teaching them love and respect for humanity we can slowly start to turn the tide.

 

Stats – the tools within

Following up on yesterday’s posts about Goals and The Writer’s Diet, I decided to delve more into the wonderful world of Stats!

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WordPress posted an article on “Stats are more than just an Ego Boost” a while back and I revisited this post last night.  I read it when it was first posted, but must admit that I did not really do an in-depth check of my stats.  It is an amazing new world that opened up to me!

I was particularly interested to learn that I have readers in 59(!) countries:

Country Views
South Africa FlagSouth Africa 508
United States FlagUnited States 268
United Kingdom FlagUnited Kingdom 239
Australia FlagAustralia 29
Canada FlagCanada 24
India FlagIndia 22
Switzerland FlagSwitzerland 22
Israel FlagIsrael 21
Indonesia FlagIndonesia 21
Germany FlagGermany 19
Singapore FlagSingapore 16
Philippines FlagPhilippines 13
Netherlands FlagNetherlands 9
Russian Federation FlagRussian Federation 9
Hong Kong FlagHong Kong 8
Brazil FlagBrazil 5
France FlagFrance 5
Spain FlagSpain 5
Italy FlagItaly 5
Denmark FlagDenmark 5
Thailand FlagThailand 4
Bahrain FlagBahrain 3
Czech Republic FlagCzech Republic 3
Lebanon FlagLebanon 3
Latvia FlagLatvia 3
Belgium FlagBelgium 3
Sweden FlagSweden 3
Croatia FlagCroatia 3
Pakistan FlagPakistan 3
New Zealand FlagNew Zealand 3
Greece FlagGreece 2
Korea, Republic of FlagRepublic of Korea 2
Norway FlagNorway 2
Malaysia FlagMalaysia 2
Ukraine FlagUkraine 2
Saudi Arabia FlagSaudi Arabia 2
Ireland FlagIreland 2
Austria FlagAustria 1
Serbia FlagSerbia 1
Colombia FlagColombia 1
Chile FlagChile 1
Hungary FlagHungary 1
Tunisia FlagTunisia 1
Taiwan, Province of China FlagTaiwan 1
Nigeria FlagNigeria 1
Lesotho FlagLesotho 1
Rwanda FlagRwanda 1
Kenya FlagKenya 1
Turkey FlagTurkey 1
Cambodia FlagCambodia 1
Romania FlagRomania 1
Bahamas FlagBahamas 1
Jamaica FlagJamaica 1
Georgia FlagGeorgia 1
United Arab Emirates FlagUnited Arab Emirates 1
Paraguay FlagParaguay 1
Japan FlagJapan 1
Viet Nam FlagViet Nam 1
Syrian Arab Republic FlagSyrian Arab Republic 1

The search terms used on Google to get here also offered a couple of giggles (how to make a voortrekkerkappie) and some which really shocked me (rapetown sex game!)  Really?!  I shudder to think what that is all about.

The post by WordPress offers a lot of different ways in which you can pinpoint your reader’s needs and suggestions how to expand on that.

Next, I found statcounter!  StatCounter currently offer the following stats Configurable Summary Stats, Entry Pages, Came From, Recent Visitor Google Map and many more.  Best part:  it’s free.  Mine is loaded and ready to go.  I can’t wait to see the results!

Now, back at you:  which other tools have you found useful?