Failure is not an option

“What are you doing?”  “Why bother, you’ve already failed”

For days now I’ve been working on several posts in my head, so I was quite surprised when my bugs came up with the above as I finally sat down to write this morning.

“What do you mean?” I entertained the little critters.  “Well, we’re on the 8th of January and you’ve only published 3 posts, once of which was a copy and paste job from a message you received.  You’ve failed.  You’re not making 2019 WOW.  We knew it would happen”

I suppose in a sense it is true, but life happens.   Let me break down what’s been happening … (In my head I had several posts to do about several things, but seeing that I have the time now, let me give a condensed version)

Going back to work… I think if you are miserable at home, going back to work must be a charm.  The couple of days I had off, however, made me consider the fact that I might actually like to be a housewife one day.  Gasp!  Watching my little seedlings grow as they water them, getting rid of the weeds, tidying up here and there, moving a flower-pot from one place to the next in search of the perfect spot – that’s been blissful.  I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.  My garden is no oasis, but it is there and it’s getting there.  I see the results of the drought in my garden and it breaks my heart.  I can only just imagine the desperation and hopelessness that must be felt by the farmers who for 3 years in a row now have been unable to sow or harvest.  The alarming rate of suicides, especially in the Free State, is testimony to the hopelessness they experience.  The drought is forcing us to go water wise with our gardens and luckily succulents grow like there’s no tomorrow.  The lawn, or rather what’s left of what used to be a lawn, on the other hand is a disaster of its own.  Getting that fixed up will have to wait until April when the rain comes, which gives me plenty of time to get rid of those pesky daisy-like weeds that just won’t go away.  The garden make-over has me collecting every drop of bath, laundry and dish water I can get my hands on.  On the upside, I might finally develop some muscles around my shoulders from carrying those buckets around 🙂

The other part of my “holiday” was spent giving the house a mini make over – getting rid of cluttering, clearing out bookshelves so we only have books on it, spring cleaning, unpacking and re-packing cupboards, selling unwanted items, putting up different curtains.  It is one of the best feelings in the world to see the result and witness the little changes

I’ve also started with a Bokashi composting bin yes, we are finally on the recycling train.  I was shocked when I put out my first recycling lot this morning.  There’s more stuff there than in my normal bin!!  I’m happy to say that everyone at home is in on all my efforts and it’s making a huge difference

So yes, going back to work wasn’t nice.  All of sudden I don’t have the time I want for the garden or the home and everything get’s done in a rush and without the effort and time it deserves.  I am, however, extremely grateful to have a job and I do love what I do.  Soon I’ll be studying too so better time management will be required on my part.

On reading 60 minutes every day… The Socrates thing have kept me busy.  By using his technique, I’ve managed to silence my bugs a couple of times.  Only once in the past week did they win and left me broody and sulking.  Only once though.  I’ve really taken to this method of dissecting my thoughts and must say that I’ve not read any further in the book.  Socrates works for me.  On the other hand, I might find another that works even better, so I’ll be reading the next chapter today.   Having said all of that, it does not mean that I’ve not read at all.  I’ve been spending minutes here and there throughout the day reading other blogs and articles and book and movie reviews, so I’ve not neglected it entirely.  Just not quite at the 60 minute mark yet

On exercising first thing every morning… I used to be a morning person.  A long, long, long time ago – before kids and work and stress and trying to find a couple of minutes to connect with my love every night and going to bed too late.  I don’t know how he manages to get up at 4:30 every single day.  The 5-AM club is not something that works for me.  I gave myself “off” last week as I was still doing a lot of work around the house and garden and I figured that it would count as my exercise for the day.  I was fully determined to get up and exercise before going to work yesterday.  I managed to do all of 5 minutes hahaha.  This morning I got up and managed 30 minutes before my bugs told me I’ve had enough.  That’s OK.  Tonight I’ll go for a run and tomorrow we start again.

On social media marking and finding influencers… “You need to get one or 2 influencers behind you.  You are sitting on a gold mine!”  A lot of my time has been spent on marking the bus.  The potential for it is huge and we both know it’s just a matter of finding the right spot, the right spark, that one gap somewhere that will propel us to the next level.  What the heck are influencers?  OK, I’ve sort of managed to figure that one out on my own, but how on earth do I get one of them to look at (for now) little fish like us?  I really can’t wrap my head around what to do next and I wish we could get in contact with a marketing guru to give us a free consultation and point us in the right direction.  Mark Cuban comes to mind.  Who is his South African equivalent?  Mmmm, that’s the one I need to speak to.  Dream big, they say…

On thinking about love and being loved…  there’s a story for another day

Even though getting up at 5 is a royal pain in the a…, I must say that it adds to productivity.  Right now I feel energized and ready for the day.

So, have I failed?  No my little bugs, I’ve not failed.  I’ve grown a little and loved a lot.  I learned and practiced and tried.  I’m still standing – you lose.  Now hush, and go back to your dark little corner.  Momma’s gotta go shine now


Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. I am an over thinker par excellence , in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you. If you like it here, please come back, comment and share. If not, let me not waste another second of your time. All I ask is that you respect my space, be constructive and leave negativity at the door. There is enough of that in this world we live in and yes, in my head too sometimes. Not everything here will be liked or agreed with. Some of it will be downright rude, crazy and straight forward. Not everyone will like me and what goes on in my head, but this is my life and my space. Enjoy the ride

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