The WTF that was 2019

In my mind it still is June. I don’t know where the rest of the year went or what happened to it. It just happened so quickly.

2019 was nothing short of being caught in a riptide. The times I can remember when I had my head above water was few and far between. More often than not I was caught in a desperate gasp for air and space and quiet and rest.

Most of the year was spent in a zombie like state between trying to get from one job to the next while smiling and making small talk, while deep down, all I want is my bed. On more than one occasion I felt that booking myself into a hospital and requesting to be put to sleep for 2 weeks seems a very viable option. Right now, as I’m sitting here and everyone is feeling festive and happy and in celebratory moods, all I can thing of is how long it is till I can go to bed.

But, it’s not all bad. My Love and I have a deeper and stronger relationship than ever before

My son is back home and he has turned into the young man I always new he could be. He makes me more proud with every day that goes past.

I couldn’t be more blessed.

I’m sorry about friends that were lost this year. Getting upset because I again can’t make it to a braai or not liking the fact that I call your bluff on gossip…. Well, do I really want those kind of “friends”? I am grateful for knowing who my real friends are – tho ones who understand and stick around and jump out to help at the drop of a hat, those are my kind of people.

I am healthy, albeit a little overweight.

I have a job that pays well enough

I have a safe, secure, warm, dry home that is filled with love and laughter and crazy moments and friends that pop in at all hours and a garden that gets better by the day

I have grown and healed and walked a step or two closer to the person I am meant to be

I am happy.

Is there really more to ask for?

Besides making me tired (which I intend to remedy with a lot of sleep over the next couple of days), 2019 have made me stronger and wiser. I am not broken or bruised by the year, but instead I am filled with hope and a bubbling sense of anticipation. Next year can really only get better!

2019, The Review

In a previous post, sort of midway through the year, and then in yesterday’s post (what you are reading now was started on the 21st of December so the “yesterday” I am referring to is in fact 20 December. Bear with me, you’ll see below why it took 9 days to get here). I mentioned how busy we have been and how little time we have for…. well anything.

Now I suppose you may sit there and think: how busy can a person be? Let me tell you all about it. In a nutshell, this is was Being Busy has been all about this year

Being Busy – Part 1
In October 2018 my Love started a coffee business. That means getting up and 4:30am 6 days a week so he can be ready to go with the first cup before 6am. Believe me when I tell you that it’s all lies when they tell you getting up before the sun gets easier as your body becomes used to it. It doesn’t. With that started social media marketing on my side, scouting for events, helping at events and so on.

Being Busy – Part 2
As you may recall, I took up studying in January 2019. 4 Years to my Financial Accounting degree is, thankfully, now down to 3. Being Busy meant cramming for exams and really putting my brain to the test. It’s been hard work, but fun at the same time. I really missed studying and it has helped a great deal with my work this year

Being Busy – Part 3
In April I decided to start my own business, which only runs over weekends. It’s been going OK and had its ups and downs. I’ve learned a lot and worked even more. We made some money and thankfully have not lost any. It’s been going OK, but not OK enough for me to want to continue. Working 7 days a week and only getting a day off once in 4 months is not cutting it for me. So, we are at a crossroads to either change the business concept entirely or give it up as something we gave a solid college try.

Being Busy – Part 4
My son moved back to me and I’ve been homeschooling him (for various reasons). Best decision ever! The results have been absolutely mindblowing and I am one seriously proud mom.

Being Busy – Part 5
Yes, I still have a very demanding day job, hence the 7 day work week mentioned in 3 above.

I won’t bore you with all the details, but we’ve been busy, busy, busy.

No time for any form of exercise, exhaustion, stress – all of these have taken its toll on us. We have reached the point where going to bed at 7:30PM and sleeping for 10 solid hours once every 2 weeks have become somewhat of a treat. Getting to bed before 8:00PM is something that we seriously look forward to. My sleep tracker is very concerned with my rather uneven sleep habits haha. I’ve also learned that too little sleep, coupled with stress, poor eating habits (because getting take out on the way home from a long long day is much easier and quicker than actually cooking) and the female hormone cycle that goes haywire after 40 (that really is a thing!) and no exercise leads to weight gain, which I plan to tackle head-on (starting tomorrow ;-))

I am happy to say, however, that our relationship is stronger than ever before. We’ve had our Jeremiah year and we have proven that we, as a team, can stand as a united front against anything that comes our way.

2020 is all about scaling down and building on what we have learned this year.

My 2020 post, coming up later today or tomorrow is going to be an interesting one…..

Influencer

Influencer – An influencer is someone in your niche or industry with sway over your target audience. Influencers have specialized knowledge, authority or insight into a specific subject. Their pre-existing presence in a niche makes them a useful launching pad for brands in search of credibility. 

https://sproutsocial.com › glossary › influencer

I’ve always said that if one day when I die and people stand around my grave, just one person was to say that I have positively influenced them; that I made a tiny little difference in one person’s life, I would know that I did OK. Those few little words would mean that I’ve accomplished what I was put on earth to do.

Pause to take note that I’m not saying I’ve figured out my purpose, but deep down I feel that that is something that I am meant to do. Perhaps something that we are all meant to do, but that’s a topic for another day

Influencer, yes, getting back on track. I suppose I am what you could call the most consistently inconsistent blogger you’ll ever get to know. My writing efforts have been lacking something, somewhat, some sort of ….. finality. Well, to be honest, it completely and totally lacked any actual writing effort whatsoever. My “imaginary” writing skills, well those have been on fire. I’ve had probably 4 or 5 pieces a week this year; countless stories I’ve been burning to put to paper; stories which were planned and plotted and edited to masterpieces – in my mind – I’ve had countless pieces that have all disappeared, stories I can never get back., but for that, I only have myself (and time, way too little time) to blame. So, in light of all of this, I found it very funny when Luke called me an “Influencer” earlier tonight.

While clearing the dinner plates he walked past my laptop; a black page on it with the cursor slowly blinking in the space that would soon be filled with the words of a post completely different from this one; he looked at the screen and said -in a very typical I-know-it-all-and-you-are-old 17-year-old teenager filled with hormones kind of way – “so, I see you are starting your own blog, you should rather start vlogging you know, maybe do your own YouTube channel. A blog is so…..old, like you”. “It’s not a new blog” I replied. He paused for a second, his eyes widened and surprise flooded his face, “O! You mean it’s still the same one from back in G Bay? Wow, Mom, I’m impressed, you’re actually an influencer!”. I chuckled as I was correcting him. Being an influencer would mean that I, first of all, need to be more consistent, I would need to know – really know – what I’m talking about (opposed to the random ramblings I blurt out from time to time) and lastly, but not in the least less important, I would need to reach a lot more people.

On that point, may I add a thank you to those who are still subscribed and still make the effort to read what I write. In spite of my total lack of starting, finishing and actually posting something, you are still here and still reading and responding. For that, I am truly grateful.

Maybe, through my ramblings and experiences and thoughts, I can influence someone somewhere in the world. Maybe that person can be you…

PS: I am not making any grandiose promises of writing more often or better. If this year has taught me anything, it is that time is precious and you make the best of it. I will no longer feel guilty over things that weren’t mine to be guilty about to start with. Nor, will I feel guilt over not meeting the expectations placed on me by others to silence the little voice in their own head, the little voice that is meant to nudge them to start and do something. I am me, I am busy, I will write as and when I can. 

Do I hope I’ll get to do it more often? Yes! Do I hope you will contribute and comment? Definitely yes! Do I hope to influence someone? You bet I do!