The WTF that was 2019

In my mind it still is June. I don’t know where the rest of the year went or what happened to it. It just happened so quickly.

2019 was nothing short of being caught in a riptide. The times I can remember when I had my head above water was few and far between. More often than not I was caught in a desperate gasp for air and space and quiet and rest.

Most of the year was spent in a zombie like state between trying to get from one job to the next while smiling and making small talk, while deep down, all I want is my bed. On more than one occasion I felt that booking myself into a hospital and requesting to be put to sleep for 2 weeks seems a very viable option. Right now, as I’m sitting here and everyone is feeling festive and happy and in celebratory moods, all I can thing of is how long it is till I can go to bed.

But, it’s not all bad. My Love and I have a deeper and stronger relationship than ever before

My son is back home and he has turned into the young man I always new he could be. He makes me more proud with every day that goes past.

I couldn’t be more blessed.

I’m sorry about friends that were lost this year. Getting upset because I again can’t make it to a braai or not liking the fact that I call your bluff on gossip…. Well, do I really want those kind of “friends”? I am grateful for knowing who my real friends are – tho ones who understand and stick around and jump out to help at the drop of a hat, those are my kind of people.

I am healthy, albeit a little overweight.

I have a job that pays well enough

I have a safe, secure, warm, dry home that is filled with love and laughter and crazy moments and friends that pop in at all hours and a garden that gets better by the day

I have grown and healed and walked a step or two closer to the person I am meant to be

I am happy.

Is there really more to ask for?

Besides making me tired (which I intend to remedy with a lot of sleep over the next couple of days), 2019 have made me stronger and wiser. I am not broken or bruised by the year, but instead I am filled with hope and a bubbling sense of anticipation. Next year can really only get better!

Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. I am an over thinker par excellence , in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you. If you like it here, please come back, comment and share. If not, let me not waste another second of your time. All I ask is that you respect my space, be constructive and leave negativity at the door. There is enough of that in this world we live in and yes, in my head too sometimes. Not everything here will be liked or agreed with. Some of it will be downright rude, crazy and straight forward. Not everyone will like me and what goes on in my head, but this is my life and my space. Enjoy the ride

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