Lockdown is over!

I wish someone would jump out of a giant freakin cheesecake today and declare that corona was just one long stupid prank

You know, the kind of prank that @WhackheadS would do. The kind that takes days and weeks and months to set up, with all the top players involved. At this point, I would even settle for some government somewhere to come out and admit that this was just one huge social experiment and that we’ve all passed with flying colors (well, most of us. The ones who think it is STILL fine to walk their dog and go for a jog should just be sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest)

Sadly, however, it is not. It is what it is, whatever that “is” may be, that is what is. I found this interesting article on exactly that and I kind of like the idea that the phrase actually relates to a state of possibility and that is exactly what this lockdown is, isn’t it?

It is possible that we can contain it, sooner than later, and everything can go back to normal, albeit a different kind of normal. I like to think that after this we as a human race will be kinder and warmer to each other. Perhaps we will become more caring about those around us, how we spend our time and money and have a greater appreciation for nature

It is also possible that things can go horribly wrong, but for my state of possibility, I choose to not think about that. I have a little it of a head in the sand approach, where I just pray for the best and believe instead of fear.

Also in my state of possibility is the belief that thousands of illicit love affairs will dwindle into nothing and that husbands and wives will fall in love with each other again and that parents and children will reconnect. With all the distractions taken away, we are forced to cook and bake and do garden work and do things around the house and in that there must be bonding. New connections must be formed and battle-axes put away.

Perhaps I live in an idealistic, hopeless romantic and naive space that exists only in my mind, but I’m fine with that. There is nothing wrong with hoping for and believing in a happy ending to all of this

Also to be found in my state of possibility is what I’m going to do when this is all over. So many things..

Firstly, I’m going for a run; a long run on the promenade with the sun setting over the ocean, the smell of sea and sand and coconuts being whipped up from the shore by a cool breeze. Reality check: it’s autumn so the chance of that happening is remote, but I’m going to go. Even if its raining and I have to bathe in coconut flavored sunblock before the time, I will have my beach and my ocean smell and my coconut smell and a sunset. I will.

On the topic of running, the day before lockdown I lay in bed and worked out a running route through the garden and backyard. It seemed like a fantastic idea at the time until I tried it and realized that it’s only 80 meters and I would have to do it 62.5 times to get to a 5KM run. It’s very boring. It’s also not happening. Day 6 of lockdown and I’ve run a total of 80 meters. I am determined, however, to run that little piece of land 12.5 times today to at least get 1KM in.

I am also determined to buy a treadmill when all of this is over and I am kind of ticked off at myself for not doing it earlier. I’ve been playing with the idea since December but never got round to actually buying one. It always takes me forever to buy something. More often than not when there is a dress I really, really like, by the time I decide to go and buy it, it is no longer available. Note to self: stop procrastinating on buying things you really want!

Secondly, we are hosting the biggest party this house has ever seen. Friends, family, neighbors. I’ve already started on “save the date” invitations last night #datetobedeterminedbygovernmentwhenallofthisisfinallyover

Thirdly, I’m going to have to get my diet on track when all of this is over. I’ve been very good with eating during lockdown so far, but my family… they are leading me into temptation with their requests for dessert. I haven’t baked this much since my high school days

Day 1 was apple crumble pie
Day 3 was cinnamon mousse filled salted caramel donuts
Day 5 was fudgy chocolate brownies with a hind of coffee and home-made custard
Today I have a hankering for carrot cake. Any recipes will be welcomed #justsaying

For now, it is time to get to work. My state of possibility also includes the hope that I’ll still get paid when all of this is over

Stay safe and stay home!

Doing lockdown like a Kardashian (or not)


So day 1 and 2 of lockdown came and went and it’s not that bad (yet).

Day 1 wasn’t much different from the norm, except that I got to work from home. Jip, I’ll be working through lockdown which is an absolute blessing. Remember the 11 Commandments of lockdown – find a balance between time spent on your own and time spent with your family. With me being able to work, we are sure to have a very good balance in how we spend our time.

Day 2 – my love decided to bring all the equipment from the bus home and I am super stoked about it. That means I get to have the best coffee while on lockdown. We phoned up the neighbors and invited them over for cappuccinos. Before you blast me about social distancing, we had our cappuccinos on either of the fence with 6 meters between us. Realized again what nice people they are. Spend the day lazing around for the bigger part of it, doing crosswords and watching reruns of Kom on Braai. We watched a rerun of our episode too and felt like a total celeb: watching myself on TV while wearing my fat pants, no makeup, and hair in a mess. It’s fabulous being me 🙂 I wonder how the Kardashians will do lockdown? Finished the day with a chicken braai, roasted veggies and my very own apple crumble, which was delicious, even though it was more apple than crumble. O yes, I also tried out my running track I had laid out in our back yard. Turns out I need to do it 62 and a half times to get a 5KM run in. Yikes. I’m not entirely sure that it is going to happen, but I’ll try it out later today nonetheless. I am really sad at this point that I never committed to buying a treadmill. I’ve been meaning to do it for the longest time. Too late now.

As promised yesterday, my Corona scare

During the weekend of 14 and 15 March, we worked at a bike rally. A rally that was attended by a lot of Germans. Days before that weekend, news of corona increased and (being an overthinker) I started to take note of news specifically on how the virus is spread from person to person.

Well, I’ll have you know that before now I never realized

a) how much people spit when they talk

b) how often we touch our face and

c) how many things we touch that may or may not be infected

Taking a coffee order from a drunk guy insisting on telling you how his “flat white” is supposed to be made while you have a live band to your left and a DJ to your right – spit fest. At one point I seriously contemplated taking off my bra to cover my face. It was THAT bad!

Going to the loo, well that is just simply a minefield of germs and viruses waiting to jump! Seriously, men have it so easy.

Your first challenge arrives as you get to your cubicle. Closing the door with your foot is no challenge at all. To get the latch, however, your options are limited to fingers or teeth….. Mmmmmm I think I’ll opt for keeping the doors closed with my fingertips. Now, any girl will know that you never sit on a public toilet, you squat. Squat done, you wrap toilet paper around your fingertips and keep the door closed with that, hoping that it will offer enough resistance to someone wanting to enter. Do your business and (while still squatting) you use your free hand to gather some more toilet paper and wipe. Done! You feel super triumphant knowing that you’ve managed to miss every germ. Time to wash your hands. fcuk. You have to use your hands to open the tap, get the soap and wash and then use that super clean hand to close the tap. Hello toilet paper, my old friend! (I think I’m starting to see where the world toilet paper problem is coming from) All clean! Yayyy, a 4-year-old who has just managed to lose the training wheels on his bike couldn’t be happier! You turn around to leave, open the door and walk out of there feeling like a million dollars. Your fringe tickles your forehead and you wipe it away, not thinking for a second about the door and latch you touched to leave the cubicle. You take cash from someone who pays for their skinny dirty chai, gives them change and wipe the counter. You have now successfully touched 5 sites of possible infection. I’m not going to carry on, I’m sure you get the message.

So, Monday the 16th of March, our president announced a state of emergency and I started to think about the weekend. All those germs, all those Germans. I have no idea where they all come from. Tuesday meets me with a runny nose and sore muscles. My overthinking topped new levels, levels I never dreamed possible. Turns out I’m OK and there is no need for concern, but I can fully understand how mental health can become an issue in these times.

Mental health is going to be a huge thing in this time, more on that in my next post

How are you spending lockdown? Please share interesting ideas of things to do

Until next time, stay safe and stay home!